Valuable lessons from going under...

"My wish for you Is that you continue


To be who and how you are To astonish a mean world With your acts of kindness." - Maya Angelou

I have been feeling grateful lately, thinking about the goodness and mercy that God has granted me. I look back a year from now; I was drowning, basically I was going under... 2018 has got be one of the worst and best years of my life- simply because the worst times that got me under, gave me a new meaning and zest for life that got me over.

Going under taught me that it is okay, to hit rock bottom, to break, to hurt, most importantly to hide for a while. When I was in a mental institution, we were far from the cities, our devices were taken away from us, our families and friends could only visit us during strict visiting hours. On day one I couldn't understand why, and I found it frustrating; I thought it was bad enough that I felt down in the dumps about the darkest period in my life, but being cut off from everything was not going to help. Well, I was wrong, going under, and taking an involuntary hiatus helped me to find myself again. I remembered my purpose, and why God's grace saved me from my third suicide attempt. There is something powerful about solitude, especially when you are "down in the dumps" or "going under"... It is tough but a necessary period in life, it tests your emotional intelligence and spiritual willpower. I learnt to be true to myself, first, and to the plans to prosper that God has for me. Only then did I get my healing, and now I know and appreciate the joy of going under- if you surrender; you come out better.

Which is why this quote is so apt right now- I can hear the words of Maya Angelou when I was discharged- and that is what I am praying over your life. Yes you, you may be going through the "under period" in your life, I want you to know that I will keep praying for you and hope that you get and are ready to receive the necessary love and help that you need. No matter what happens don't stop astonishing a mean world with your acts of kindness.